high hopes for the future

the end is the beginning is the end: LANDAN

Following what I’m certain can only be classed as a ‘jolly good’ exhibition at the Batley School of Art and Design end of year show (involving several bottles of Pimms, a urinating dog water feature, Elvis Presley songs played live on a ukulele and an abundance of Hawaiian flowers), it’s onwards and upwards, or more accurately, downwards and southwards, to London!

Myself and my fellow Fine Art for Designers will be celebrating our degree results by taking part in the Free Range Art and Design show at the Truman Brewery, Brick Lane.

Armed with bubble wrap and cardboard boxes, our exhibition has been wrapped and packed and will be heading down to London on Tuesday; ready to be promptly re-assembled for our Private View taking place on Thursday 5^th of July.

If you’re in the near vicinity (or not!) feel free to pop in and be pounced on by seven keen and over-excitable graduates, from little ol’ Yorkshire.

slag red stereotypes and an awkward tutorial

The newest edition to my exhibition pieces is this (not so complimentary) periodic table of nail varnish.

Based on the scientific study of nail varnish colours on the inebriated maidens of Bradford Road on a Saturday night; whilst they are passed out in a roadside hedge or contentedly tucking into their 3am Donner kebab, the illustration is practically indisputable fact.

As intended through my various works which investigate the neurotically driven lives of women, the piece immediately initiated a female-to-female dialogue in the Fine Art for Design studio, most markedly from my tutor. An initial chuckle escaped her lips as her eyes surveyed ‘Chips and Strongbow’ and ‘Budget Denim’, but an agonizing awkwardness prevailed upon the realisation that her nail colour of choice was, what I had deemed, ‘Slag Red’. (Sorry Eve!!)

Since that uncomfortable debacle, however, the work has been shortlisted for the Unleashed Best in the North illustration competition, which I will shamelessly self-promote here:

http://www.facebook.com/UNLEASHEDBestintheNorth

a 7am wake up call from the postman

Unlike the usual anger-fuelled grumbled greeting which the postman receives upon waking me from a peaceful slumber, when he delivered me my long-awaited A2 prints for my exhibition, he received a genuine smile (even if it was accompanied by a head of uncombed hair which can only be described as a white woman’s afro).

My illustrations were printed for me by the lovely artist and designer, Mel Elliott, with whom I have wined, dined and assisted with several projects in her new book, 1980s Bumper Activity Book. A talented artist, witty writer and owner of five cats, admire Mel’s work here: www.ilovemel.me

The following are the images I received as A2 prints. These will compliment my framed leg stubble nicely, don’t you think?

smug satisfaction

Having never smoked a cigarette in my entire life, I gained such smug satisfaction upon my external examiner being convinced that as a seasoned smoker, I was finally attempting to cut the habit.

And having never smoked a cigarette in my entire life, I’ve never spent so much money on cigarettes...

sketchbook shavings

Major Project B: one false toe-nail, an unidentified hair and a stubbed out cigarette

'I wake up, and resume peeling off the remnants of last night’s licentiously red nail varnish;

a clumsily applied topcoat gracelessly covering a week’s worth of large chips and scrapes…

Really ought to remember to buy nail polish remover.

Sluggishly advancing to the shower,

I consider the daily dilemma;

To shave or not to shave.

                                                               

Today, armpits are a must;

having crossed the acceptable boundary where underarm fluff may be blamed on a shedding woollen jumper.

Legs aren’t necessary.

Last night’s short skirt entailed the full works; exfoliating, moisturising and shaving (even behind the knees). They’ll do for at least three days.

Eyebrows are still recovering from last week’s over enthusiastic plucking session and should be left well alone for the foreseeable future.

A post-shower coffee is complimented beautifully by what is most definitely my LAST cigarette.

…barring the one designated for emergency use only,

…and the necessary afternoon-break-cigarette.

…not to mention to strays that inhabit my handbag, only to surface once I’ve had a drink.'

The work both brings to light, and examines, the seemingly nonsensical, illogical and somewhat inexplicable neuroses which inhabit us as women; the obvious importance of these peculiarities in shaping a woman’s routine remaining baffling to their comparatively uncomplicated counterparts.

To anyone in possession of a Y chromosome, the significance of the role of the neuroses on the average woman is often underestimated. Amplified and reinforced by a £14 billion beauty industry and the prevalence of paper-based media culture, the average woman crumbles. Paling in comparison to her airbrushed, perfectly pruned, glossy equivalents, the average woman is forced to become possessed by neuroses.

The work presents the story of the neurotic relationship between womanhood and the unnecessary tentativeness to the four female neuroses; the unspoken rules of nail varnish application and removal, the unwarranted complex of the constant pruning and tweaking of body hair and the endless (and fruitless) quitting smoking process.

The work narrates a social commentary with an empathetic ear; glorifying the inglorious idiosyncrasies that make womanhood, but perhaps more importantly the work attempts to engage with other women, those of the sisterhood of: to pluck or not to pluck, to shave or not to shave, to puff or not to puff and to refresh or just fill in the gaps.

Is this nature or nurture, instinct or influence?

With a nod and acknowledgement to our media–fuelled world . . .

Books, prints and objects are utilized to present:

the philosophical meanderings of the female brain

the unreasonable reasonings and questionable complexes

the mock-retail nature and consumer-driven format, exhibiting the workings of the average eyebrow-plucking, ‘last cigarette’ smoking, nail polish peeling woman:

a celebration of these quintessentially female neuroses.

scientific fact. (honest)

hello Russia.

According to the ever-reliable source, Wikipedia, the moose population in Russia is approximately 730,000. Whether these Russian Moose are able to ride penny-farthings is yet to be investigated.

a man's face is his autobiography. a woman's face is her work of fiction.

bubble blowing: Miss Kirklees '11.

major project a: MULTIPLE.

major project a: COMMISSION. (cont. yet again)

major project a: COMMISSION. (cont.)

major project a: COMMISSION.

bubble blowing: making my parents proud.

this is Jasmine if she was a peanut.

Exactly what it says on the tin..